So as I'm sitting here, procrastinating as usual my mind began to wander...
Originally, just about nothing, abstract little things, with the occasional feeling of disappointment in myself since I have multiple midterms next week, but nevertheless it continued to wander...wander to my future and what it might possibly contain.
An actuary has to take 9 exams to become a Fellow (the highest level of actuary) and most can get a job after passing 1 or 2 (which are the ones you take during college). So ideally, if i pass 2 before I graduate, I'll be done passing exams by the time I'm 29...29! How ridiculous is that? 9 more years of this, for lack of a better word, bullshit. And I'm not even off to a great start. I took my first exam in February and did not pass...Well I'm taking a different one in May. May 27th in fact, and talk about a morale killer if I don't pass this one.
Don't get me wrong I'm a huge nerd whom loves math - I like the logistics and consistency behind it, plus it's not open for interpretation. Also, the promise of a nice paycheck not really a big downturn either. But I have loftier career goals. Of course I want to pass all my exams, become a full actuary, and really know this stuff, but eventually I want to teach math. Just high school algebra, the basics. Think about it: Everything we learn now that's math related starts with x+1=3. And it'd be an amazing experience to teach that material - it also helps that the material is easy.
My issue is not that i'm not passionate about my major, the work I have to do to get ahead, I'm just more passionate about really throwing myself into extra-curriculars. I love the community service work I do, working on Nick and Emily's USG Campaign and my fraternity. Unfortunately, extra-curriculars are just that: EXTRA.
We talked about Paying It Forward. And with extra-curriculars we all can do that. Sometimes its just hard to put all your chips in one cup especially since all those extra-curriculars don't have huge financial benefits.
At the end of the day I'm terrified. Terrified I won't be able to get a job, reach my goals, and be able to give back. But also I'm reassured. Reassured that I know what I want to do, that if I put enough work and time into it I can do it. I just need to get the will power.
Kind of a long and random post - but hey, it's better than studying right? Right.
good to know i'm not the only one freaking out about life!
ReplyDeletethe thing is, all those extra-curriculars, especially being in your fraternity, are benefiting you in so many ways-
there is the whole social part, which is really an important part of enjoying your college experience, a last hoo-rah before real life happens,
you have the philanthropy aspect, which is not just making you a better person by allowing you to help others, but if you really get involved, you never know what kind of job opportunities could come out of it
and speaking of jobs- fraternities are all about networking. i'm currently in the college of allied med, and they can't seem to shove it down our throats enough that networking is key to finding the job you want.
so keep up the good work- even if it is productivity in disguise.