The Last Say

As I sit in the Center for Student Leadership not studying, it becomes difficult not to look back on this year, and all years.  I'm forced to think about the mistakes I've made, the friends I've lost, the days I just didn't work as hard as I should have.  But while thinking about the bad I can't help but think about the good too: the friends I have made, the tasks I've taken on, the life lessons I've learned, and how much I've grown as a person.


One of the most important lessons I think I've learned - and a little too late if I say so myself - is the time management.  At some point fall quarter between all the paperwork of being an R.A., having 17 credit hours - including two real actuarial classes - and pledging a Fraternity, I realized that I have to sleep sometime, which unfortunately meant giving up some of the other student orgs I did (aka ALL OF THEM) and pushing the R.A. job as much as I could without 1) getting fired and 2) pissing off my co....1 out of 2 isn't that bad right...and since I still have my job, you guys can only imagine what that means. Even what I did do was too much for me.  I was constantly stressed about school, my job, my future brothers.  Something that really showed me that I had made the right decision was that all the Brothers were all so willing to work with me every step of the way because they knew how hard I had to work to get where I was.  


But many of us have regrets, about things we'd do differently at any point in our various academic or social careers, and the only thing we can really do is remember what we've learned and know that what has happened is for the best and to learn for the future.


Let's be honest, at this point, Kristen and Tyler are probably the only ones reading this since we didn't have an assignment this week but I want to end all of this with a quote a friend of mine turned me on to that I really enjoyed:


"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!"
— Woody Allen

"No Means Yes"

On May 17th an article came out in the New York Times talking about the five year ban of Delta Kappa Epsilon at Yale University.  The article explains that the Fraternity had their pledges chant degrading things towards women last October, along the lines of "No Means Yes" and other ridiculous vulgarities.  The University issued severe penalties on the Fraternity and recommended to Delta Kappa Epsilon's nationals that the chapter be suspended for five years. Nothing has been released as to whether or not their Nationals will do so, but Doug Lanpher, executive director of DKE International thinks that although the actions were out of line the reaction is too excessive as it is, without the five year ban.


The rest of the article can be found: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/18/education/18yale.html

I understand the actions of Yale.  It is important to make a showing of the organization that is supposed to represent so many good things, but instead goes off and makes ridiculous mistakes like this one.  Lanpher already talked about how they will be doing a complete review of their pledge process which I think is important, and although the actions were completely absurd and uncalled for, a review of the pledge process is very necessary, but a five year ban might not be.  If DKE International is able to teach, especially the new members, that that is not what they are all about, a shutting down of the organization may be necessary for a year or two to allow them to rebuild and bring in Men whom will uphold their organizational values.  But a five year ban will cause the organization to completely fall through the cracks, and will prohibit DKE from coming back in full force, with a strong support system.  


The last statement is something I really have an issue with.  The last paragraph of the article is the last impression anyone gets from something they are reading, and something they are most likely to remember the best of all.  The last paragraph of the article reads this

"Presca Ahn, a 2010 graduate who signed the complaint to federal officials, praised the       university for making its actions public. “It’s good to finally see an exception to the impunity with which fraternities harass and intimidate women every year in their initiation rituals,” she said."

The first thing I think when I read that statement, at least as someone in a Fraternity, is that this person is not in Greek Life and more likely than not, has not met many, if any, men in Fraternities.  I know that lots of situations cause people to think that all those stereotypes must be true, but to go out and say what she said shows that she is not even willing to realize that there MANY Men and Women in Greek organizations that do not support the stereotypes and it is important for her, and all others to realize that.  

We as Greeks should hold ourselves to higher standards, sometimes we do, sometimes we don't.  But at the end of the day many people don't give us the chance to show them one way or another.

Of course I do not know her situation, but she also does not know ours.

Don't Just Stand There...DO SOMETHING

The bystander effect, for lack of a better word, sucks.


Regardless of that fact, we all know that it happens to all of us, even though we obviously don't want it too.


For me, the situation is an R.A. thing but the situation is typical nevertheless. I have to be careful though so obviously as to protect anonymity and university laws and obviously stupid junk like that (just kidding it's not stupid).  So one Saturday evening whilst hanging out in the lobby of my residence hall I came across something not that unusual, a drunk student.  This student was wobbly and kind of talking at nothing.  When I asked him if he lived here he said that he's waiting for a friend and then proceeded to sit down. At that point I left, assuming that if anything happened that the O.A.s would call the R.A.s on call.  That was my mistake.  I should have made sure he was not ridiculously plastered and waited for his friend to arrive, to see the condition they were in.


Basically, I felt like a rear. It's my job as a good person and a good R.A. to look out for people like that especially when no one else can.  I think its the responsibility of everyone to look out.  Of course there have been instances when I did, but one mistake overshadows a lifetime of successes.


This easily applies to the Greek Community.  By being a bystander to your Brothers or Sisters you're leaving them to fail, get hurt, or worse...This doesn't have to apply solely to just drinking.  People do dumb stuff all the time, and for those of us who can see how dumb those things are we need to tell them and make sure they know that.  Just by being a bystander this conflicts with our values.  Our values of integrity, of honesty, of being the best we can really be.  We need to show not only non-Greeks but also the rest of the Greek community that it's important that we look out for each other and everyone around us.  


By working to fix our community, we can work to fix other communities and the rest of the world. 

Oath

Everyone's oath is different, but the theme is the same. Honor.  Honoring ourselves and our fraternal organizations.


All of us stood together with our various pledge classes and said an oath.  An oath to remain faithful and honest to our fraternal organization, so that we may represent our organization to the standard that it deserves.


People say the oath, but do we really know what we're saying?  I'll be the first one to admit that when I was initiated I wasn't immediately paying attention to the words I was saying, and it was not until the winter class got initiated that I truly heard those words I had said just so recently.  But why would I go into an oath I wasn't really paying attention too?  Because I know the organization.  I know the Brotherhood, and I know the values we stand for. That is the point of the Pledge Process; to learn those things so that when we do finally say the oath, it is almost redundant because we had since learned the values and ideals of this organization and have already decided that we share these beliefs and ideals and that we want to represent this organization by holding them up.


So then why do we have problems?  Why do we even need to have conversations like the kind we had in class on Tuesday.  Because there are individuals who lose sight of the Oath, or some that just never really acknowledged it in the first place.  I'm not perfect, my Fraternity is not perfect, but I have faith in the people who joined before me, and I have faith in those who will be asked to join us in the future.  But no one is perfect, people lose sight of why they may have joined; people lose sight of the oath.


So why are none of us just kicked out?  We agreed to respect and honor ourselves and our organizations, and if we're not we don't deserve to be in it, right? wrong.  Because there is more to oath, there is more to our Brotherhoods and Sisterhoods.  We all have to look out for each other, we have to make sure that we're all working together to uphold these values.  No person is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, but it's harder to make mistakes if you have Brothers or Sisters looking out for you.


Alone we will never be perfect, but together we can be.

Relay For Life

Saturday starting at noon until noon today was Relay For Life.  An event put on by the American Cancer Society where for 24 hours people are constantly walking around a track, and raising money to go to cancer research.


Why do we walk?

HOPE - written out in Luminaries at last night's
 Relay For Life event

The 24 hours of walking are symbolic.  With the beginning being the diagnosis, the start of the journey, because the fight against cancer is exactly that: A journey. It is not a journey that anyone has to take alone.  That is why we walk together, because during everyone's journey there are people around who it is affecting, who are giving support.  There are people who are on the journey with them.
The second part of the walk is after the sun sets, beginning with the luminary ceremony that shows remembrance for all of those who have or had cancer.  The darkness represents the worst parts of the fight; the times when people lose their fight, and when the people closest to them feel they are unable to do anything about it.  These really are the darkest times.  
But the last part is the sunrise. Here we see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel: Hope. We hope for a cure, and that with every passing day and with every dollar donated we are close and closer to finding it.


Why do I walk?
This was my fourth relay, and every time I feel so lucky to never have lost anyone close to me to cancer. But seeing all of those around me, the people crying thinking about their lost loved ones really shows me how truly important this kind of thing is.  There were over a thousand people signed up for Ohio State Relay this year.  If each one raises at least their individual goal of $100 that's over $100,000 to go to cancer research.  That's huge.  Everyone can make a difference, especially in this.


What now?
I now implore all of you that in the future, you donate to organizations like the American Cancer Society, but participate more than just financially.  I ask you all to try and go to events such as Relay For Life and Buckeyethon because they do more than just raise money.  They show survivors and patients that there is a huge support group because everyone can relate, and everyone is willing to help.

Citizenship

Going into this class I would've most likely defined citizenship along the same lines as patriotism, loving your country, and helping your fellow man.  And i guess those things, especially the helping your fellow man stuff, can be included in the definition, but it's more than that.  Citizenship is something that even if you're not patriotic you can do.  It's helping your roommate with homework, helping the community around you, and in a way: helping yourself.

How am I displaying citizenship within my fraternal community?

The answer to this is simple: By being a good brother.  But that's generic.  You want some examples, and frankly, without actions, words mean nothing.  A Brother recently was having an issue with his blood-brother before a T.G. and he was really worried about why his b.b. (blood brother - see what i did there?) had called him to come over so urgently. I volunteered to hang out with him, and drive him if I needed to, to go see his brother.  Luckily, it wasn't a big deal and his b.b. just wanted to figure out what they were going to get their mom for mother's day, but that's the kind of thing that I feel makes anyone be a good Brother.  

How does your chapter display citizenship within the fraternity/sorority community? What does this look like?

AEPi is huge in the whole philanthropic scene. And since we as Brothers have such an interest in philanthropies we realize the importance of other chapter's philanthropies and advocate attendance to their events.  For example when AEPhi does Phi-Trotters we always have multiple teams.  And when Alpha Phi did their bounce house, the chapter bough 50 tickets.  It's acts like these that help support other Fraternities and Sororities in the community.  Another way citizenship is displayed by working together within the fraternity/sorority community and teaming up to work on events.  Even if those events aren't philanthropic, it shows citizenship by being "a good friend" to the other chapters on this campus.

How does the fraternity/sorority community display citizenship within the greater university community.

The fraternity/sorority community is not big percentage wise, but when looking at campus organizations then it's obvious how big of a role Fraternities and Sororities have in the community.  For example, when Undergraduate Student Government elections are happening the total voting population is minimal.  But the percentage of those who vote that are Greek is huge.  In fact, the Greek Community is so powerful in this sense that if the entire Greek Community united under one candidate then that candidate would most likely win.  The Greek community shows up as leaders in organization, as university ambassadors, and are often the people who work for the university while students.  All of these actions display citizenship.  It displays how much the Greek community appreciates the university and its community. 

Some Things Never Change

Of course it's almost 2AM and I'm not asleep, but nothing really new about that. 


I decided to go back and look through pictures, and old facebook messages for the sheer nostalgia of it all.  It's always interesting to look back on the kinds of things we all used to be into, pokemon, boy meets world, the obvious.  It's also interesting to see how those things that inspired us back in the day, whether it's music, people, even your own religion; things you might think you have lost since then, can still inspire you to be the person you once set out to be.


No matter how hard we say we're our own person, we were influenced by everything and everyone around us, and at the end of the day we should accept that and be happy that we have all come as far as we have.


Basically, Remember where you've come from, what you learned growing up, and allow that to help steer you in the direction you want to go.  Whether it's in the opposite direction of what you grow up knowing, or directly into it.

Differences and Similarities

I don't want to forget about the assignment Kristen sprung on us so I guess I'll do it now.


Frankly, I'm not too surprised by what we learned during the assignment yesterday.  I learned that most fraternities and sororities under the same council have similar values, I also learned that IFC and PHA hasd a lot in common as overarching organizations.  


What I really enjoyed learning more about are Greeks from NPHC and MCGC because most people who are in Greek Life under IFC and PHA do not know that much about the other two councils and the greek life that falls under them. For example one of the other Resident Advisors in my building is in Alpha Kappa Alpha Inc. and to listen to her talk about the kinds of things they do - for example their step shows and the connection she has with her sisters. Yes I am very connected to my brothers, but I feel that their connection is different and nothing I could really understand unless I experienced it.


And I think this to an extent applies to any Greek organization, if they talk about ritual or what their organization values the most - it's something I might be able to comprehend, but how they as a person, or as an organization really feel about it isn't something I could really understand without experiencing it for myself.  It just adds to the bond that we all have within our own organizations.


But at the end of the day many of the core values are similar so we do all have that in common.  So we should learn from each others differences but also understand that we have lots of similarities.

Organizational Values

So originally when writing this blog I had decided on an organization though Ohio State that I'm a member of - Starfish - but after reading some of the other blogs I decided to do something on a much grander scale, and an organization that I think most people don't know - the Dear Jack Foundation.

For those of you who have ever heard of the band Jack's Mannequin or Something Corporate, their lead singer, Andrew McMahon, who in fact happens to be one of my heroes, was diagnosed with Acute Lymphatic Leukemia.  He set out and documented (on video) every step - from diagnosis to remission. Then there was a documentary made out of it, called Dear Jack:

After his fight with leukemia Andrew McMahon created an organization to help raise awareness for all sorts of cancers - the Dear Jack Foundation. 


"Our [The Dear Jack Foundation] mission is to be a leader in raising awareness and supporting organizations and charities with the greatest need and highest potential for impact on young adult cancer patients. We specifically aim to find treatments as well as expand on quality of life initiatives, such as counseling for young adult patients and their families. This age group of 15 to 35 year old patients is in desperate need of research. Cancer is the number one disease killer of young adults and studies continually show that the survival rate has not improved as steadily as that of other age groups."


Andrew McMahon, with the help of Jack's Mannequin and Something Corporate go around and perform huge charity concerts and tours raising money for the Foundation which all eventually goes to cancer research and cancer patients.  The organization is non-profit at its finest with all of the employees being volunteers.  


It's an organization that has really inspired me to work harder for causes like his and to watch someone go through what he did and come back even stronger than ever really inspires me.


People are drawn to organizations that hold similar values as them - just like I did. And with an organization to help reinforce what you already believe in - our ability to help is limitless.

Impulse Buy

So apart from the random rant post I had earlier I haven't really anything blog-able lately. Tomorrow is the end of passover which I'm rather excited for but of course with every day the daunting Actuarial Exam P looms ever closer. 


But I did do something rather impulsive yesterday.  Buy an iPod touch.  In my defense though my classic is barely operational and it was a 32GB Gen1 iPod touch for $150 in relatively good condition and one of my Fraternity brothers was selling it so since I trust him I went for it - and basically, I love it and it makes me want to get the iPhone 5(?) or whatever it's going to be called that much more.


And of course since I wasn't being unproductive enough before, here let me get a new toy to add to my unrpoductive-ness? Yeah that's going to be a word now.
It's okay though because one of my other fraternity brothers bought an iphone 4 as an impulse buy, so I think he wins (or loses) in this whole impulse buy game.

Annoyance of the Day

For those of you who don't know, Monday began the start of (surprisingly) one of my favorite holidays, passover.


Passover is the story of Moses and the Jews and their struggle to get out of Egypt.  Basically, Moses wanted the Jews freed, Pharaoh didn't, so G-d hit him with some plagues, parted a sea and bing bang boom we were out of there.  Simple enough, right? Right.


So during passover Jews are not allowed to eat wheat, yeast, legumes, soy, rice (for some of us) and corn.   Unfortunately those foods are contained in everything.  For example I had a salad for lunch today and tried to get Italian dressing but it had soybean oil.  Then i tried to get fat free Italian but that had high fructose corn syrup.  So what did I do? Eat my salad dry. Gross.


So by now you're probably wondering what that has to do with the title of this entry, annoyance of the day, well I guess it's incorrectly labeled since it's more along the lines of annoyance of the passover. There's only about 8% of this University's population that's Jewish. It might seem like a small number but that's approximately 3000 people! Which is also approximately the size of the Greek community we have all come to love (hopefully).  Well during passover there are these great food restrictions and what does the university do to accommodate those 3000 students? NOTHING.  Even the new north commons gluten-free section is a step in the right direction (im sure the individuals with celiacs disease really appreciate it) but how difficult would it be to make a kosher for passover section in at least one dining area on such a large campus?  I understand that obviously not all 3000 jews keep passover or even eat from the dining halls but does that mean there shouldn't be some foods that we're allowed to eat during passover offered to us from the meal plan we're paying thousands of dollars for a year? I think so.  It forces the ones of us who do keep passover to spend extra money elsewhere and let's be frank, no one wants that.


Yes I understand dining services is making HUGE changes in the years to come, most likely to be implemented when we switch over to semesters and hopefully that's something they're considering.  Who knows? I sure don't.

What's Important To Me

So as I sit here, procrastinating from other homework as always, I pause and think about a couple things:
     1) Passover - and how much I'm going to miss bread
     2) The two midterms this week I'm currently not studying for
     3) And how difficult this "easy" assignment can be


Most people will say they know their values, they will say they know what's important to them and what makes them a good person. But then you ask them, myself included, to describe those values, to put their opinions into words, and only a few people will be able to do it.  Most of the time I can find words for everything - some people will say for lots of things I have too many words. Ha! But in this case, the words come up short.  But here it goes.

• Friendship:  At some point in the past couple of years I realized how important it is to have a few people who you are especially close with.  As cliche as it sounds, it's the quality not the quantity.  I'd rather have a few friends who I have faith in completely than lots of friends who I'm just eh with. The thing is though, all relationships help define a person - Good ones and bad ones help define an individual, the interactions you have. 

• Faith: If you didn't catch on from the passover reference, the fact that I'm in AEPi, or by other random instances of me mentioning it (which happens rather often), I'm Jewish - and it's something that has defined me since probably Sophomore year of high school.  Before that things were kind of different.  I knew I was jewish but I considered myself agnostic.  But sophomore year of high school I met a couple people who I'm now proud to call some of my best friends who introduced me to a Jewish Youth Group that slowly enveloped my life in the greatest way possible.  My Judaism continued to grow, helping define my values and shape my beliefs.  It's something that has helped me become the kind of person I am now. 

• Service: Everyone talks about the importance of community service and I agree it is important, something that everyone should work on in my opinion.  But how people do their service is more of a defining factor.  I believe that the service starts here. How can we, as one of the most powerful countries in the world, try and better the world if we can't even better ourselves?  I believe that we should all go out there and help repair this country and then that'll lead to us bettering the world.  So that's why I went on Alternative Spring Break last year and why i want to keep doing service, and hopefully doing service will inspire others and it will be a way to pay it forward.

• Brotherhood:  Brotherhood (or sisterhood) is something that every Fraternity (or sorority) strives to teach and advocate to each other.  It is that connection amongst each other that keeps us strong and gives us the ability to change the world.  If we lose that we go from being a Fraternity to a frat. And that is something that none of us want.  The relationships I hold with my Brothers and the values we as a fraternity hold are what make us unique and strong.  If we lose that we are just a bunch of guys living in a house together (well they would be, I'm an R.A. and live in a residence hall). 

I guess that would sum of my values - or at least the ones I can think of right now - but there's much more than that, for everyone.  There's everything that you believe in, everything that encompasses your personality. And at the end of the day, very few people can truly list or describe all their values.  But hey what do I know? I'm just a math kid in a Fraternal Leadership class.  

P.S. Everyone should check out the RockMelt browser at www.RockMelt.com it's basically Google Chrome on crack. It's sweet.

The Big Picture

So as I'm sitting here, procrastinating as usual my mind began to wander...

Originally, just about nothing, abstract little things, with the occasional feeling of disappointment in myself since I have multiple midterms next week, but nevertheless it continued to wander...wander to my future and what it might possibly contain.

An actuary has to take 9 exams to become a Fellow (the highest level of actuary) and most can get a job after passing 1 or 2 (which are the ones you take during college).  So ideally, if i pass 2 before I graduate, I'll be done passing exams by the time I'm 29...29! How ridiculous is that? 9 more years of this, for lack of a better word, bullshit. And I'm not even off to a great start.  I took my first exam in February and did not pass...Well I'm taking a different one in May. May 27th in fact, and talk about a morale killer if I don't pass this one.  


Don't get me wrong I'm a huge nerd whom loves math - I like the logistics and consistency behind it, plus it's not open for interpretation.  Also, the promise of a nice paycheck not really a big downturn either.  But I have loftier career goals.  Of course I want to pass all my exams, become a full actuary, and really know this stuff, but eventually I want to teach math.  Just high school algebra, the basics.  Think about it: Everything we learn now that's math related starts with x+1=3.  And it'd be an amazing experience to teach that material - it also helps that the material is easy.


My issue is not that i'm not passionate about my major, the work I have to do to get ahead, I'm just more passionate about really throwing myself into extra-curriculars.  I love the community service work I do, working on Nick and Emily's USG Campaign and my fraternity. Unfortunately, extra-curriculars are just that: EXTRA. 


We talked about Paying It Forward. And with extra-curriculars we all can do that. Sometimes its just hard to put all your chips in one cup especially since all those extra-curriculars don't have huge financial benefits.

At the end of the day I'm terrified. Terrified I won't be able to get a job, reach my goals, and be able to give back.  But also I'm reassured.  Reassured that I know what I want to do, that if I put enough work and time into it I can do it.  I just need to get the will power.


Kind of a long and random post - but hey, it's better than studying right? Right.

A Little About Me

Let's start with the basics.

My name is Leo Katsman - no I don't have a middle name, yes Leo is short for something, no I will not post it right now - my full name is something original and if you guess it, then I'll tell you - don't want to guess it? No skin off my back. 

I'm in Alpha Epsilon Pi. Yeah the Jewish kid is in the Jewish Fraternity - no surprise there, but there is reasoning behind it.  My religion has become something that is very important to me - something that has shaped a lot of the kind of person that I have become.  So when I started college I told myself 1) I wouldn't join a fraternity and 2) If I did it'd be the Jewish one.  Well since 1 didn't work out for me that well I turned to 2 - and as I met more of the brothers I realized there was much more in common there than just the religion thing - so here I am.  Brother of Alpha Epsilon Pi and everything.  

Coming into THE Ohio State University I had the same stereotypes engraved in my brain about the stereotypical "frat" guy.  Well after joining a Fraternity I realized it's not that stereotypical B.S. that I thought it was in High School and I don't regret a day of it.

This Class:  Well after going to that Fraternal Futures thing which, although it did involve getting up obscenely early on a Sunday, I didn't totally loathe - and actually learned some interesting things - I decided to check out this class. Partly because I'm interested in other aspects in Greek Life (not that the social aspect isn't great) and partly because I feel like this class will have debates and debates are fun.

The Blogabus:  An interesting concept - and an interesting word - For me it's really nothing that ridiculous seeing as I've always read blogs/tried to keep blogs but now this blog just has information on it.  So the blogabus has reached an approved rating by me. 

Blogging in general: I think it'll be good to be able to just rant out assignments in blog form.  Assuming there aren't huge deductions for blog-digressions (kind of like the one i did before this) because I'm kind of A.D.D. when it comes to blogging.  Aside from the obvious benefits of the blogabus which include seeing each others work/opinions and letting the outside world see our work/opinions, I had recently started a blog but kind of had an issue keeping it up - at least in the way I hoped (3-4 posts a week).  I hope this assignment will serve as a diving board into more intense blogging experiences. But that's just the optimist in me speaking - don't worry a couple weeks of my schedule and he will be gone soon enough.

Even now I procrastinate by not studying for Exam P and my Math 532 quiz and doing this blog instead.  But this is an assignment and has to get done too right? Right.